Brynleigh turns One!

Brynleigh turns one today. I thought that her brother Logan had taught me all I needed to know about parenting, but she has showed me so much more.

It was the night of April 16th when she started to make her way into this world. I was sitting downstairs watching television with Daddy and I was having some light contractions. A few days earlier I had experienced some false labour so I didn't want to get my hopes up this time. I decided to just go to bed and not think too much about it. It dawned on me when I was still awake at 2:00am and the contractions were coming on stronger that this is possibly the real deal. I had always wanted to have the experience of calling my Mom in the middle of the night to tell her that I was in labour and I finally got to. Although she surprised me by picking up on the second ring. Seems that her Mother intuition is still strongly intact, because she told me that she just knew that I was going to call her. Well we gathered up our stuff and my Mom arrived shortly. We were on our way to the hospital.

I walked into the ER (since it was in the middle of the night we have to register there) and the lady asked me if I was in labour. I wanted to give her a sarcastic answer and say "No I make my husband drive me to the hospital in the middle of the night all the time to make sure he knows where he is going." But instead I just answered with a simple "yes." Daddy came in after parking and we made our way up to labour and delivery. We got there and the nurse asked "So are you in labour?" What is with these people! No people we just want to take a tour at 3:00am! "Yes" again was my answer. Surprisingly I was the only one there that night to deliver a baby.

We got all set up in the room and found out that I was already 4cm along. So I got my epidural right away and was in heaven. Usually when you deliver you are not guaranteed to get your own O.B, but I got lucky for the second time and mine was on shift that night. She came in smiling, because we were just at the hospital earlier that day to set an induction date for Saturday. Turns out our little girl didn't want to wait. Daddy and I were in the room and we start to hear this alarm go off. We just look at each other because we both figured any alarm is probably not a good thing. The nurse comes in and just switches it off. I enquire as to what the alarm was and she just says casually "oh that is just the baby's heart rate." I have to say she was really good at not getting me scared about it because she was so calm, but I was still worried. The alarm kept going off and I got more worried. She had me turn on my side, but it didn't really help. She went and got my O.B and it turns out, with every contraction I was having the baby's heart rate was dropping.
Now I am not sure if anyone has ever watched any baby shows, but I have seen my fair share and I always know that when they bring out the oxygen mask it usually is never a good thing. Well my fear just escalated when they put it on me. All I could think was, this is not a good thing.


It was time for her arrival. It was so nice just having the O.B and the nurse in the room this time, opposed to like the 15 when I had Logan. With just a few pushes she made her debut into the world. She was perfect. Brynleigh weighed in at exactly 8lbs and just over 21 inches. It was instant love.



This past year I had been met with so many new challenges, but growing from each one. The first three months were less then ideal for me, and I struggled through each one of those days. But today, there is nothing I love more then seeing Brynleigh and Logan playing together. To see her crazy toothy smile. I wasn't sure at first how going from one to two kids would be, but she fits so perfectly into our family. Our lives would not be the same without her.

Today you turn from being a baby to a toddler (although don't take those first steps without me being present!) And even though the first year has gone by so quickly, there is still so much more to add to the chapters in your life. There is still tons of time to make thousands of memories together. So much more to teach and learn. So as you complete the first year, know that I am sad about it ending, but so excited about what is to come still. You have the whole world at the tips of your tiny fingers. And I know that you are going to make your very own special path in this world and I can't wait to walk along side you with every experience we share.

As You Turn One

 

Time flies fast when you’re nearing one,
So much to learn, so much fun.
Peek-a-boo, learning to talk,
Eating it all, learning to walk.
Loving to laugh and giggle and play,
Enjoying every moment of every day.
But while you innocently watch each day go by,
You’re unaware of the sighs we sigh . . .
For you’re growing up too fast for us.
We’ve seen it before and we know you must.
Soon you’ll be two, then three, then ten,
And we’ll look at you and wonder and say, “When?”
When did she grow up? How can this be?
Wasn’t it yesterday she looked up at me . . .
And reached for my arms . . .
And smiled that sweet smile . . .
And we prayed,
“Keep her little for still a little while

 

~Cheryl Wray~





Goals not met

I don't want to say that I have failed or given up, but I have not met my goal yet. It's been pushed to the back burner, not on my mind. The winter could possibly be the worst time to try and start running. Who in their right mind wants to go out in the freezing cold weather with tons of snow around. To possibly slip and fall down. I had no motivation at all. I sat in the house each morning instead of lacing up my running shoes. Although I feel like I have failed I have the chance to make this right. I had met tiny milestones when I was running. I wanted to run more then walk, goal met. I wanted to be able to make it back up the hill before falling over and dying, goal met. I wanted to go out and make it back home in a half hour, goal met.

My challenge to myself is to now go out and meet these goals once again, but this time to not stop, but succeed and surpass these goals. I was only doing 3.2kms and I want to do 5kms and then 10kms. I know I can do this. I need to do this. I want to do this.

So I have set for myself a deadline. July 1st I have signed up for a 5K run.

No excuses anymore.

I WILL DO THIS!!

School Registration

I had finally gotten all the required information to go and register Logan for JK. So we got dressed and decided to walk to the school (we are about a 2 min walk) and I for some reason decided to do this on probably the coldest day in January!

We got to the school a little frozen, but in one piece and entered the school and into the office we went. I started filling out the paperwork and Logan was sitting there waiting for me. (he never sits still by the way) And I looked over at him one time and through the window in the office you can actually see into one of the kindergarten classes and he was just staring at the kids. He looked back at me and he had a huge smile on his face and you could just see the excitement oozing out of him. I finished up the paperwork and we headed out to leave and he pulls on my hand to go back. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay. It's amazing how these small kids want nothing more but to soak in all the information we give them. They enter the school eager to learn and excited to be there, but graduate and leave only being too happy to finally leave.

As we started our chilly walk back to the house, my thoughts drift from wondering how he will do with all day everyday kindergarten, to how will I feel the first day dropping him off since he has been around me almost everyday since he was born, to hoping that his kindness and innocence will stay with him. These days kids can be so cruel and I fear for my kids when they enter school. I was a victim of bullying all through school. From being made fun of that I was adopted and that my parents didn't love me and I didn't have real parents, to getting slapped across the head in the middle of class in grade nine. It never really ended for me. My one hope is that my kids will never have to experience anything like that. I want him to know that school is a safe place for him, but I will know that first day after dropping him off that I will not be there to protect him and watch over him. And it's a feeling that will last for everyday he is in school.

I am excited for him to learn new things and to make lots of friends (who wouldn't want a friend where if you drop your ball he is only too happy to help you retrieve it!) but somewhere along the way some kids lose their excitement and turn down the other road and I just hope that he stays on the right path, eager to learn each day.

Itty bitty hands

Little baby hands that reach for Mommy's face, such an innocent little touch. They only want to know that Mommy is close and that they are safe. The feel is familiar to them when Mommy places kisses  upon those tiny little hands. For now they reach out for toys and grip to that coffee table hoping to not tumble and fall down.

But what will they touch in the future? What will they change in this world? How many lives will they change and inspire? These tiny hands one day will hold friends hands when they need it most. They might bring change to someones life when they need it most. These little hands might pick someone up when they are down.

In this world where we have minimal face to face interaction these days will she change the world with her own. Will she fight for those that cannot fight for themselves with compassion? Will she educate people and fix things with those hands? Will she one day hold her own itty bitty baby with those hands?

In time will we only know, for her story is just beginning.

Being a Mom

Means:

Sacrifices.
To put your kids first and you second.
To give them all the love and support you can possibly give them.
To never having a day off.
Endless piles of laundry.
Wiping bums and noses.
Finding 25 hours in a 24 hour day.
Means being a jungle gym and lap to curl up in when they need you most.
Late nights and early mornings.
Walking around with spit up on you without you even knowing it's there.
Are you lucky enough to squeeze that shower in today? No, that's ok there is always tomorrow!
To have your heart walking around outside of your body.
To watch them grow into little people.
Watching them conquer the world!
Watching your kids play together.
Seeing the love between your kids grow.
Telling your child, "please be gentle with your sister." (a million times a day!)
Telling your kid please don't drink the dog water!
Watching them fall and pick themselves back up again, only to try again.
Broken bones.
Tears.
Smiles. (and lots of them!)
Letting them soak the bathroom while having a bath, because water brings them pure joy!
Bedtime stories.


It's the biggest joy in the world, but boy can it be tough work sometimes. But the smiles, giggles and endless love they give you make it all worth it!

2013 The possibilites

This past year has been amazing. So many memories were made. The biggest one was giving birth to my daughter and Logan becoming a big brother (which he is awesome at!) We had our struggles going from a family of three to a family of four and I won't lie the first 3 months were the hardest ever. But now I am blessed with a happy going baby. Logan turned three this past year (I can't believe he is growing so quickly!) I started running to better my life and my kid's lives as well (I need to get out again soon) and having some good conversations with my Mom brought some light to things that are in the mending process.

I still go by Jason Mraz's song "Living in the moment"  the words in the song really speak to me and I am always remembering them when I really need to. We never know what the new year will bring us, but we can always strive to make it the best one yet. So take chances, live each day to the fullest, love, have no regrets, go to bed happy, let go of the negative and embrace the positive, just simply live.

So we say goodbye to 2012 and ring in 2013 with hoping it will be everything we can make it to be and more.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year, may it bring you everything you dream and more!

Christmas whirlwind!

This year was Brynleigh's first Christmas. It can be an easy thing to forget with all the hustle and bustle that comes with Christmas time. The day is usually a whirlwind and is over before we know it. I had to keep reminding myself that it was her first Christmas and to make these moments special for her, even though she will not remember it I wanted to and I will be able to tell her about it when she is older. She enjoyed every minute of it!

This year was also the first year that Logan really understood Christmas. We built up the anticiaption to Christmas by counting down the days. He was very excited about Santa coming and loved the lights and tree. We also taught him about giving to others this year as well. He loved opening his stocking and he is a pro at opening presents as well now.

Even though we may have had some unexpected things happen (such as not having a furnace) we made the best of it. It was the first time in a couple of years I was not completely stressed out and was able to enjoy the day with my kids.

I hope that everyone else had an enjoyable Christmas and they made memories that will last forever.