I'm Still Here!

 I didn't know it at the time, but I was about to begin a journey that would change my life.

During a pandemic (which we are still currently in) I invested in a running stroller and reunited with running. 

I had found myself in a spot in life where I was no longer happy. I had no energy. I had spent a long time battling PPD. I needed to find myself again after having four kids. I continually put myself on the backburner all the time. There was always something else that needed to be done, or something that someone needed. I am also a Mom of special needs children, so I found that, that took up a lot of my energy. Most days I had nothing left for myself. I was constantly drained and wanted to do nothing else, but plant my butt on the couch all day long. 

I had no desire for life.

But now, well now I am still tired but I can live with the reasons why. 

Yes having four kids is exhausting and yes I still am drained by the end of the day, but now its different. I feel more accomplished at the end of the day. I take time for myself. I have energy during the day now. I do more with my kids. I feel better about myself.

I found my happy.

There have been many small goals along the way for me. 

My first was to get down 20lbs. I did.

I wanted to run a 5km. I did. Multiple times. I've lost count!

In three months I was able to lose 30lbs.

I had another goal of being able to run 10km, something I had never done before. I have also accomplished that goal, many times over yet again.

A huge goal of mine was to run a half marathon. I shocked myself with attaining that goal. And I am dang proud to say I did that all on my own! 

Over the course of the past year I have been able to lose a total of 83lbs! Am I where I want to be, no. Am I happy to where I have gotten, yes! 

I truly never imagined that I would ever succeed this much. It truly is a process. One that you have to be patient with. It takes time. It takes a lot of hard work, consistency and dedication. I wish there was an answer I could give on why I succeeded with running, and the only thing that I can think of is that I honestly wanted it bad enough.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

No one is going to be there to do the work for you. You have to do it for yourself. You have to want it. 

When I first started running I started out with a pace of 10:49/km and I could barely get past 2km, today I can do a 5:26/km and my longest distance to date is a proud 21.1km! And I finally accomplished an under 5:00/km and smashed it with a 4:39km. 

I competed against myself. I had to dig deep some days to get out there and run. The hardest days were the cold winter days. I am extremely lucky that at that point in my journey it was then my mother decided to pick up running again. I am so thankful that I had a running partner to get me through those frigid cold nights with. And trust me you could probably here us hooting away sometimes because the wind and air were so bitterly cold. We pushed our limits together. Pushing each other farther and faster. And we had plenty of laughs along the way. Our ultimate goal is to run a half marathon together in person. I can't wait for the day when we can run together again, for now we will do it in different provinces. 

It's been a year. 

You never know what you are capable of until you try. 

You are only limited by the limits you set on yourself. 

Show up. 

This isn't the end of my journey. Running has become an addiction for me. I get bothered if it has been two days and I haven't been out for a run. I want to keep going to keep improving and finally be able to run races in person. 

Running changed my life. 

#IMSTILLHERE