One Day, or Day One?

 In the middle of a pandemic I decided it was time to change my life. To be a better version of me. 

I chose day one.

In the early morning hours I started my journey. I strapped my then one year old son into the running stroller and we took off. Well not like a fighter jet or a dog chasing after a squirrel. 

But I started.

One foot in front of the other.

It was painful.

My lungs were burning. 

That morning I barely made it to 2kms.

I really had no idea how far I would get. What I was capable of. 

The next morning I woke up again and repeated the process. Each day I was able to get a little farther. And  pretty soon I was getting to 5kms. Not running the whole time, but I got to the distance I wanted to. Before I knew it I was walking less and running more. I was completing 5kms faster. My pace was coming down, and also my weight.

I had my route down. I ran the same one every morning. I can only imagine what people were thinking as I ran past them. And one morning I found out exactly what one person was thinking. As I trudged up the hill with my son in tow, which to put into perspective he weighed about 25lbs at the time and the stroller itself was about 20lbs. Im in my own world while running, unless I cross paths with another runner I usually look up give a little smile and carry on. I was coming up to a lady running and I do my usual look up and little smile and she looks at me and says "good job Mama, keep going." A complete stranger was encouraging me to keep going. 

Just keep going. 

And I did.

Each day I showed up. I put in the hard work. I challenged myself. I knew that regret would follow very harshly if I threw in the towel. I needed to do this. For myself. For my kids. A couple of years ago we went to Canada's Wonderland. I spent the whole day not wanting to go on the rides with my kids because I wasn't sure if I exceeded the weight limits and I didn't want to find out. I missed out on a whole day of fun because of the life choices I was making. Next time we go I want to be able to ride every single ride with them. I want to be part of the fun and not just on the sidelines watching. 

Show up.

It's simple, but difficult at the same time. You have to hold yourself accountable. You have to want it bad enough. I'm  telling you hard work does pay off. The change doesn't happen all at once, it's a process and yes it does take time, and you have to trust that process.

2020 has been a year of the books. So much has happened and is still happening. But this past year has shown be how much I have grown. What I'm capable of. What happens when you are consistent. What hard work does. 

2020 has shown me how strong I am. 

This isn't where I stop. I'm not done. 

Keep going.

Show up.

Trust the process. 

I'm cheering you all on. 

Great job, keep going!

Goodbye 2020.

Goodbye 57lbs!!

Hello 2021!

The end of the school year.....I think?

It's the last final days of the school year, but it doesn't feel or look the same. The kids are not putting together teacher gifts, they aren't able to say their goodbyes to their friends for the summer. There isn't any end of the year class parties. There is no "school's out for summer" blasting over the P.A system. There isn't joy like there normally is.

Instead we have Google meet farewells. We have electronic memory books of the year being made. We have chat groups to say goodbye to friends for the summer. The last day of school is not going to be special. It's going to feel like any other day that the kids have had in the past three and half months.

COVID-19 has changed everything about our lives. It has changed everything about a normal childhood. It has made parenting almost impossible some days. And to be honest I'm not sure how we all survived since March. This wasn't anything I ever had in mind when I became a parent. My patience has been tested almost on a daily basis. I have had to try teaching my kids math and language with younger siblings in the background screaming and crying. I have seen my son withdraw from almost everything in life because his social life has been stripped away from him. I have seen my daughter struggle each day to understand her work. I have cried, my kids have cried. I've lost track of the days on more then one account.

But we are all still here.

We are all healthy.

My kids have not seen the inside of a store since March. They have been kept away from friends and being able to go play on playgrounds. They have only been able to play with their siblings, and let's be honest that doesn't always go well. There have been plenty of fights.

My kids need to be in a school setting. They need that in person lesson from a teacher. They need their supports and daily routines that they get from school. They need to interact with kids their age.

We have made it to the end of the school year, but at what cost?

I know it was in their best interest health wise to be at home, but what about their mental health? What about developmentally wise? How much extra help are they going to need when they return to school and is there going to be enough supports in the schools to help with all these needs from kids when they return?

These past few months have been like no other, and I hope that when the kids look back on this time that they realize how strong and resilient they were to adapt to a whole new world.

Stay healthy!